Death Announcement at a Military Parade

At the morning roll call at Fort Dix, the sergeant called out,
"Platoon, atten-HUT! Private Martinez, report to the office. Your 
brother died last night."
The Chaplain, Rabbi Horowitz, looked on in horror. "Sergeant," he said
afterwards, "that's a rather cruel and unfeeling way to break tragic 
news. We must be more gentle and less abrupt in the future,"
The sergeant shrugged. "Yes sir. I'll try to remember that." He didn't
look very convinced.
Several days later, a call came in about another family death. As the 
troops were assembling for roll call, the Chaplain stepped forward.
"Let me take this one, sergeant", he said. He turned toward the 
sleepy-looking soldiers and said, "Platoon, atten-HUT !" They came to 
attention. "Good morning, men!" he said. "Good morning, sir", they 
replied. "Men, today is Mother's Day, and I hope all of you will be 
calling home to send your moms a loving thought. In fact, all of you
who are fortunate enough to still have a mother who's alive and well, 
take two steps forward. Private Jones; not so fast!"